Sunday, April 13, 2014

What I want to be to someone facing a 'crisis' pregnancy...

I have had a desire to help support women facing an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy for many years. Specifically, I have been drawn to the ministries of Life Services that place young moms in homes (like mine) to have support in the first year of their babies life. This desire has been growing lately to the point I feel it will explode at any moment with God destined opportunity. I am excited to be attending a training on this program in about a week.  I feel a deep burden and responsibility to live out the gospel in this way.   I hope be 'pro-life' in the trenches not just with adherence to a political ideology, which alone is cheap, and often proved a counterfeit (meaning many people I encounter claim to be pro-life, yet they support abortion indirectly in various ways).   With Gods strength and direction I seek to embody the reality of this verse "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.( Galations 6:2).  Ultimately my efforts would be in direct worship to God and not for good 'results'.   If I serve others and try to help them yet they go on to make bad choices and suffer for it....my efforts were not in vain because ultimately they were in worship to my God.  Nothing represents this better than the following truth Jesus told in Matthew 25:31-46.It reads, "“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne.  All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.  He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,  I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.  For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,  I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.
 These reminders should make all Christian pause and let the proactive sentiment expressed stir us to action, whatever God may call you to do.   If you are a Christ follower please pray that we could have our nets ready very quickly.  We need to finish a sixth bedroom and purchase an extra seat to expand the seating in our vehicle.  I already KNOW we are to be 'fishers of men'.  I don't have to wonder if this is Gods will.  I really just need Gods blessing in helping us get this room done cheap, fast and done well. Of course I ask for Gods direction on the right timing but I will be so happy just to be 'ready'.

        The following post is so relevant to this topic because it speaks of the support my grandparents provided for my mom, pregnant at 15 with me.  So many girls don't have this.  I want to provide a slice of what my grandparents gave to me and my mom to young moms God would send our way. If you read you will see why. Thanks for reading.

         When I think of gratitude what is in the forefront of my mind is my grandma and grandpa.  Being raised by a young single mother left me with little lack due to them.  I spent so many summers enjoying nature on countless trips camping, fishing, hiking, swimming, and eating the best home cooked food (and junk food before they became health nuts).  My grandpa was a faithful worker making a way when there was no easy way.  He worked long hours at times, traveled a lot as an insurance salesman/manager, after spending his early years farming, owning a service station,.....and he would have to tell you the rest (and he would love to.  He has SO many great stories to share).  I just know that all that I enjoyed was possible because of his hard work and faithfulness to persevere, step out and risk rejection again and again (the reality of outside sales), and accept nothing less than his best efforts decade upon decade of his working years.  My grandparents had a country home on 10ish acres in rural Moses Lake.   I visited during the summer for weeks at a time, and on most breaks from school.  Here is my little piece of heaven.  I had trees to climb, cows to throw apples to and sing to, Calico the cat to pet, grasshoppers to catch, raspberries to pick, a canal to swim in, flowers to pick, crafts to make, cookies to bake, and an amazing swing my grandpa hung on a BIG tree to swing HIGH on.  I had lots of fun playing on my Crocodile slip and slide a few summers (which my dad Duane Zamora bought me).  Every Christmas as my mom and I would drive to their house from Cheney or Spokane and I always felt like I was on my way to Disney land.  My grandpa lit up so many of the big trees bordering their land, and close to the house....and it always made me feel so happy to drive up and see.  My grandma and grandpa had every sweet concoction whipped up ahead of time, as well as numerous appetizers and all the standard dishes of the holidays plus more...always more.  She made home made cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning, and they were amazing.   Being an only child, and having no play mates, my grandparents taught me SO many card games.  My favorite was Tripoli, Aggravation and 15 card pinochle.  When I was younger my grandma played Hi Ho Cherry O, Mastermind, Battleship, and the game of Life with me, more times than she ever wanted to (but she did it anyways).  I loved watching Star Search with them.  If we were all watching TV I would snuggle up next to my grandma on the couch, and she would ‘tickle’ (lightly stroke my skin w/ her fingers) my arms/hands/ feet/legs….  My poor grandma spoiled me with hundreds of hours of ‘tickle’, at church, watching tv, and during bed when she was tucking me in.  She tucked me in with a book (I loved the Noah ark book, and the ‘Are you my mother?’, a little tickle and she would lay with me for a little bit.
       Instead of enjoying peace and quiet on their vacations, both before and after retirement; they took me everywhere.  My grandpa took really good care of everything he owned and he had a modest but clean and functional RV and a boat for our camping adventures.  Every summer we spent a few weeks or more at Kellers Ferry.  I could write a novel  about my time with them here alone.  They also took me up to Canada to Fairmont Hot Springs where I have a wealth of treasured memories.  On many occasions I overheard my grandpa bragging about me to others when he didn’t know I was listening.  When I say many, I mean MANY.  My Grandpa is proud of what he has accomplished in life, proud of his children and I KNEW he was proud of me.  I remember when I was about 7 I drew one of countless pictures for him.  There was company over.  I drew him a picture of a rainbow over flowers or something.  I remember feeling bad that maybe he wouldn’t like the picture because it was all in black paint.  But then he looked at it and was beaming and showing it off to the company, shaking his head with approval, and saying things emphatically like, ‘isn’t that a dandy!’.  Just like his reaction to my simple picture his pride in me…his approval was so authentic and constant.  Even when I wasn’t doing so well during my terrible pre-teen/early teen years…I would overhear his concern and man did he put up with a lot of disrespect from me!!!  Yet he never threw in the towel!  Back then I remember my grandma sending me letters to try to encourage me in the right direction.  I knew they cared and wanted the best for me.  How could I doubt it?!  By the time I was 12 they had already laid the groundwork of thousands of hours caring about me, spending time with me, making me feel special, important, and cherished.    It does however go to show that even with their love, I didn’t have what I needed to get my life headed in the right direction.  I still needed to find God and get Him on the inside.  Even that, my grandma was a part of.  Her countless prayers for me….helped push me right to Gods doorstep before my life turned into an ugly mess of unimaginable suffering, addiction and regret.  And finding myself on Gods doorstep….that is also another story I could write so much about. 
          I don’t know how I could ever fill their shoes.  My grandpa worked full-time to overtime, maintained an impeccable 2ish acres of grass, trees and shrubs, planted and maintained a massive garden that produced enough for a whole city block (year after year after year) plus fruit trees, cared for a lot of cows (feeding and moving the irrigation line to water their grass….oh I could write more about this!) and chickens BUT what is most impressive is he wasn’t just all work and no play. He understood the value of enjoying the fruit of your labor.  He valued recreation and fun and enjoying nature.   He bought me a cute little fishing pole.  I don’t remember if I caught much but I do remember that  I cried when he caught a fish and turned into a blubbery mess begging him to release it (he would get frustrated with me, which is funny now).  He took me to the circus and made me feel like a princess accompanied by the wise king.  He made the best hash browns  and fudge and still does. My grandma would come stay with me if my mom had to go out of town.  She would stand at the window and watch for me to walk home from the bus.  I’ll never forget how that made me feel.  I would be so excited to come home on those days.  Oh to soak in her nurturing attention.  I would see her looking out by the window as I got closer to the house and felt like a million bucks.  I was sought after, wanted and delighted in.  And isn’t that the heart of what Gods love is?   “See what GREAT LOVE, the Father has LAVISHED on us, that we should be called children of God!”(1John 3:1). Consider the word ‘lavished’ for a moment.  What a beautiful word in this context, directed towards me.  wow.   How few see……. BUT,  “ I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”(Luke 15:10)  The angels have a party when just one more sees.   When just one more can begin to fathom that…..
The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)

What a mysterious thrill.…as the perplexed psalmist expressed in Psalms 8:4 “what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?”   I thank you Ralph and Jeanette Enzler for giving me so many glimpses of Gods goodness through your love so pure, so enduring, so relentless and sure for over 31 years.

         My grandma is 77 and my grandpa is 87 (or is it 76 or 78…I always get their age wrong which they think is funny)  and when I think of losing them I wonder how I will be able to face the world?  Just thinking about it makes my chest tighten and I feel short of breath.  Losing someone that knows you from a newborn baby living in their home and faithfully present and supportive through EVERY stage of my life.  What a difficult day that will be.  Then there is the challenge of how high they set the bar.  I doubt I’ll ever get remotely close to filling their shoes but I have an example, a blueprint to follow, for making someone feel wanted/special that I can always turn to.  It’s hidden in my heart forever in vibrant collage of thousands of happy memories.   Their love is woven in the fabric of who I am, who I will be, and who I hope to be.   I’m grateful I’ll never lose that.  In the meantime they are STILL here with me.  Cheers to hopes that both of them will live healthy for another 15-20 years.  J  Thank you God, for letting me be born to a 16 year old mom, with such amazingly support parents, that played such a huge role in raising me.  I will NEVER stop thanking you for this.  Even if I live to be a great grandma.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

No comments: