I found a training manual recently compiled by the organization Care Net https://www.care-net.org/aboutus/ My mother had gone through this with her work in the pro-life arena. This letter, written to an pro-life activist reads as follows:
Dear Sir,
I agree with you 100% on abortions. But I had one. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I'm gonna tell you straight about how I feel.
My boyfriend and I fell in love. We made love and I got pregnant. My Mom noticed that I had skipped my period. I was taken to the doctor. He said I was about 6 weeks pregnant. So she said I had to have an abortion. My mother set up a date. I had a counselor at an abortion clinic who talked to me. She said my baby would never be adopted. Who was I to turn to? My mother and father didn't want me to have the child. I was forbidden to see my boyfriend, and the people at the abortion clinic said my kid would never be adopted because of his/her race. Would you mind telling me what you would have done? I didn't have a place to go, no money. Would you have taken me into your home? Paid my doctor bills and expenses?
My abortion is something that I wish I never had done. I can remember looking at the doctor when it was done and saw him putting my baby in a plastic bag and throwing it away in a garbage bag. Do you know how bad that feels? Have you ever lost something you loved dearly? I did and I'm not proud of it.
I know there are girls that don't care about their babies. They would have 5 abortions a year or more and not worry about it. But I happened to care about my baby. If I had a place to go and people who cared about my baby and me, maybe my baby would be alive now. It was supposed to be born this month.
It hurts me so bad to hear things about abortions. I get really upset about things like that. You're hurting the girls who wanted their babies, but didn't have any alternative but to have them aborted. But I want to say,-"It hurts like hell."
I thank you for reading my letter. Please give it a thought. You people are against abortion, but are you willing to help young girls and women who don't have money or a place to live? I doubt it seriously. Some of us women/girls are not killers. We're humans too. And I can tell you that having an abortion is killing me slowly. Think about this please.
Thank you,
Carrie
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Note from Kayloni-
I pray that I can be the kind of person that God can trust to sacrifice in order to help a woman/girl choose life in spite of fearful circumstances. I pray that I can always remember that every time my words could possibly trigger pain, regret and guilt that I would remember to shout about Gods offer of redemption, forgiveness, healing and wholeness through Christ and Christ alone. I feel I must speak about the truth of abortion in all its terrible ugliness that maybe even one baby, one womens soul sparred by seeing it for what it is.... but SHOUT about my God that loves the sinner...with a beautiful love that turns every crimson sin-even murderous sins- white as snow. Please remember my mothers story. Remember what happened when she finally accepted that Christ paid for her sin...for HER sin, and that is wasn't HERS ANYMORE, if she would accept the gift of His sacrifice. She said "I felt a snowy white blanket of grace fall on me." Yet I know that her deep pain and longing for those children she never got to hold, and have- that pain.... never went away. That is until her dying breath. I know she has met them now and how much joy she must have! This tension of wanting to spare women from this pain. Wanting to spare babies of a life they cannot live. Yet wanting women who have had abortion(s) to know they have a safe place to go within the Christian community to share their pain, regret and shame so they can find hope and healing. I know my mom found that at Life Services of Spokane. And I hope anyone reading this that has had an abortion and can relate to anything that Carrie shares, can find it also.
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